Autobiography Enhancements
Draft 2:
I can attest that a spoonful of sugar does, in fact, help the medicine go down. Growing up, one could always seem to find me alongside my mother in our quaint Tuscan- inspired kitchen without fail. It felt as though there was not enough air to inhale anything aside from flour, and personal space was a vastly foreign concept. Between the electric mixers and my mother’s deafening tone, it was too crowded to even hear oneself think. Yet, our lifestyle was just the way we liked it. My mother and I, we were inseparable. When I was young, I believed that my mother was superwoman. When I grew older, I learned my childish beliefs were in fact spot on.
I am incredibly grateful to have grown up in Bronx, NY. Instilled in me is a fiery soul that takes nothing for granted. From a very young age, I learned that nothing is earned without sacrifice. Seeing my mother voluntarily slave away in the kitchen has molded me into an individual who takes great joy in giving back to others. After school, most children ran to the streets to play stickball. Young Ava, however, raced up north Carlton Avenue to greet her oven after a long day apart.
As I grew older, I turned my passion into a lifestyle. Dedicating my existence to making other lives sweeter has been the most enriching journey I have yet to embark on. When one takes a bite of my treats, I aspire for a wave of nostalgia to emerge. Perhaps a scone takes one back to lounging under the iconic maple tree on grandmother’s lawn just before the sun began to set on another perfect day. Maybe the blueberry crumb cake recalls upon a simpler time when your wife was healthy enough to share a bite to eat and chat about the outrageous current events. Regardless of the scenario, I hope to create treats that recall a sense of home. #BakeTheWorldABetterPlace
Draft 1:
I can attest that a spoonful of sugar does, in fact, help the medicine go down. Growing up, one could always seem to find me alongside my mother in our quaint Tuscan- inspired kitchen without fail. It felt as though there was not enough air to inhale anything aside from flour, and personal space was a vastly foreign concept. Between the electric mixers and my mother’s deafening tone, it was too crowded to even hear oneself think. Yet, our lifestyle was just the way we liked it. My mother and I, we were inseparable. When I was young, I believed that my mother was superwoman. When I grew older, I learned my childish beliefs were in fact spot on.
I am incredibly grateful to have grown up in Bronx, NY. Instilled in me is a fiery soul that takes nothing for granted. From a very young age, I learned that nothing is earned without sacrifice. Seeing my mother voluntarily slave away in the kitchen has molded me into an individual who takes great joy in giving back to others. After school, most children ran to the streets to play stickball. Young Ava, however, raced up north Carlton Avenue to greet her oven after a long day apart.
As I grew older, I turned my passion into a lifestyle. Dedicating my existence to making other lives sweeter has been the most enriching journey I have yet to embark on. When one takes a bite of my treats, I aspire for a wave of nostalgia to emerge. Perhaps a scone takes one back to lounging under the iconic maple tree on grandmother’s lawn just before the sun began to set on another perfect day. Maybe the blueberry crumb cake recalls upon a simpler time when your wife was healthy enough to share a bite to eat and chat about the outrageous current events. Regardless of the scenario, I hope to create treats that recall a sense of home. #BakeTheWorldABetterPlace
Draft 1:
I
can attest that a spoonful of sugar does, in fact, help the medicine go down.
Growing up, one could always seem to find me alongside my mother in our quaint Tuscan-
inspired kitchen without fail. It felt as though there was not enough air to
inhale anything aside from flour, and personal space was a vastly foreign
concept. Between the electric mixers and my mother’s deafening tone, it was too
crowded to even hear oneself think. Yet, our lifestyle was just the way we
liked it.
I
am incredibly grateful to have grown up in Bronx, NY. Instilled in me is a
fiery soul that takes nothing for granted. From a very young age, I learned
that nothing is earned without sacrifice. Seeing my mother voluntarily slave
away in the kitchen has molded me into an individual who takes great joy in
giving back to others. After school, most children ran to the streets to play stickball.
Young Ava, however, raced up north Carlton Avenue to greet her oven after a
long day apart.
As
I grew older, I turned my passion into a lifestyle. Dedicating my existence to
making other lives sweeter has been the most enriching journey I have yet to
embark on. When one takes a bite of my treats, I aspire for a wave of nostalgia
to emerge. Perhaps a scone takes one back to lounging under the iconic maple
tree on grandmother’s lawn just before the sun began to set on another perfect
day. Maybe the blueberry crumb cake recalls upon a simpler time when your wife
was healthy enough to share a bite to eat and chat of the outrageous current
events. Regardless of the scenario, I hope to create treats that recall a sense
of home. #BakeTheWorldABetterPlace
Hi Ava! I'm a bit late since draft 2 is already up, but I see where you've added a bit more to expand on the relationship with your mother. I appreciate that it shows how baking has always been part of your life's fabric. I think the second paragraph would have a stronger impact if 'fiery soul' came earlier in the line. Maybe something like: "Growing up in the Bronx instilled a fiery soul in me that..."
ReplyDeleteI like the closing paragraph because instead of summarizing your life, you give us a glimpse into your reasons and motivation for your present and future.
Love draft 2! and totally agree with RM about the last paragraph! Bravo!!
ReplyDeleteI agree with the above that this is a great step in the right direction! The closing paragraph was good because it sets a tone for your blog and allows the reader to get a feel of what may come.
ReplyDeleteKeep using words that create imagery - it really helps bring these articles out!